The Ten Steps to Happiness After 40

Step One: Engage in self-reflection.

I know — easier said than done. Most of us go through our lives never really getting to know ourselves. After all, life offers us many distractions. Who has time for self-reflection? The only way to to be happy after 40 is to get to know yourself really well. This includes accepting and loving who you are. This includes accepting and loving the nervous habits that only you know about, those annoying addictions, and that little pot belly or slight jiggle. All your life perhaps, you have been reminded by a parental voice that you are not quite good enough or smart enough. Or maybe it’s a loving spouse who, with all good intentions, is quick to remind you of your faults. It may be just society — and all the pressures to look and act young while buying lots of stuff and having perfect children and lots of money. All this can make self-reflection a scary proposition, but this is the first and most important step towards happiness. Start with this simple question:

What makes me happiest?

Be completely selfish and honest with your answer

Sounds logical, doesn’t it? Examine your list. What are some of the things that make you happiest; and make you feel most alive? Perhaps it’s the little things — like reading the paper in the morning? Or reading a good book? Maybe it’s spending time with those you care about? Maybe it’s playing on the computer writing music. The point is this: make sure each day contains at least some of these important elements. This will make you happy.

Humans need humans. We also need a few — or even just one — person we can think about all the time: planning activities with or just daydreaming about. Ideally, this will be the same person who spends their day planning for you, dreaming about you, perhaps making your special cup of tea when you come home at night. With someone to care for in a equal relationship, you will be happy. So many relationships end up lopsided, with one person more dependent on the other. Two people who place each other’s needs in high priority in a loving way enables happiness.

Humor helps to focus the mind on the silly aspects of life. Humor helps break patterns such as negative thinking and addictive habits. Whether it’s watching funny movies, going to see comedy or just joking with people you meet, you will lighten the stress of everyday life. This will help you to be happy.

I used to become so angry about sales calls to the house at dinner time. Now, it becomes my comedy hour. The other day someone called to offer some type of insurance. The offer was that if I agreed to buy the insurance, they would send out a ten dollar gift certificate for gas in 7-10 days. I told them I was out of gas today, and asked if they could overnight the coupon, so that I could have gas the following day. Then I asked them when their dinner break was. They told me, and I said I would call them back during their dinner break as I was having my dinner! The person said they weren’t allowed to take calls during dinner!! Amazing, but you get the idea!
Laugh with others, and find comedy in your daily life. This will make you happy.